Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
