If i come over, it means nothing
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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