Porn is love you can see.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
