You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
