i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
