Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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