She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
vagina is talking i cant
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
