Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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