Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
