i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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