RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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