my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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