The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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