A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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