Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
