i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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