official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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