I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
