I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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