i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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