flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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