am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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