not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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