I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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