I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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