I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
