Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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