Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
