I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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