I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
