that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
