***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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