Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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