apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
