I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
