I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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