At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
