Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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