Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
