I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
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Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
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I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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