he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
