508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
