So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize