Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
