Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
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I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
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we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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