Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
