wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
