I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
