Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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