READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
