im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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