Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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