I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is Oprah even human
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
