This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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