I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
