i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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