Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize