I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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