Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
