Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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