Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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