if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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