So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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